After suffering from (so called) severe CFS since I was 16 years old, I had conceded that I may never really discover the root trigger/cause of my overnight onset illness after so long.
I focused instead on doing everything I could to heal -regardless of the exact disease. Because my umbrella term diagnosis of ME or Chronic Fatigue Symptom just never cut it and meant very little. It is too vague, too wide, too open, and when you have done all the Nutrition, Supplement, Lifestyle and Healing work consistently and intensively – with some -but not nearly enough improvement – you just know (in your heart) that there is something major at the core which is being missed.
That constant niggle bubbles and builds until the trust in your own powerful intuitive makes it so blindingly obvious, that all doubts ceases to exist entirely.
Many of us (long term sufferers) are battling and debating continuously with every Doctor, Healer and Helper we come across. They may offer some value and they may not. Never is it enough.
We believe fully in a Mind, Body and Soul connection. We KNOW the power that our beautiful bodies have to heal. We do it all. And more. Much much more. We have done for years. Maybe decades.
We value this Wellbeing Path and take pride in our steps. We may even enjoy the endless and never ending research which makes us feel qualified to add letters to our title.
DR Carly if you please.
Friends come to us and we guide them to better health. They notice the results that we ourselves don’t. We know this works and that we all need to take responsibility for our health and happiness. Do the work. No excuses. Reep the rewards.
We credit ourselves with just HOW FAR we have come. A long way from the days (months and years) of being completely bed-bound and utterly terrified. We praise ourselves for how much WE have stopped a potentially devastating tide from overwhelming us entirely.
We are strong (even amongst the fear and frustration) and we have immense faith. It keeps us going.
And yet whilst we appreciate getting to a safety zone we are flummoxed as to why we are not getting any further? Why we may be out of bed (much more) but don’t leave the house too often. Why we still feel so unwell and exhausted.
We have long forgotten what ‘being well’ would feel like. We dream of it but we cannot ‘remember’ it any more. Perhaps there are odd glimpses which we try to hold onto but they slip away too soon to build a memory or create a feeling.
That illusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Always there but never within reach. That is where we are heading in our plans and our dreams.
Towards the light at the end of the tunnel. We know how much we will appreciate Health.
Better than any gift imaginable.
The Glitter of Wellbeing always in our vision whilst we try to appreciate all we can in the NOW, day to day, despite it all.
Happiness can still be enjoyed. Laughter still to be had. A Smile still authentic.
But impatience lingers at the edges….
We could do and be so much more. When will our time come?
Deep down we just know there is more going on physically. That we need to dig deeper and deeper with tools we ourselves just don’t have. Our hands already red raw and scratched. We need outside help to work with us now. We have given, and continue to give this our all. Our dedication will pay off when the main body burdens get diminished.
And what are those burdens exactly?
They could be different for everyone. That is part of the problem and why you much always be the main health advisor in your own life. You must learn to KNOW YOURSELF to get well and heal. Trust your intuition. You must be sure of your exact picture and not swayed by the constant conflicting opinions you come across.
It takes a lot of Time. A lot of Tears. A lot of Effort. A lot of Strength.
You need to work backwards, layer by layer until you reach a point of better health. Some of us need to go right back to the Foundations whilst others only a layer or 2.
Is your CFS caused by a Virus?
I mostly write for the ones who have already done SO MUCH but still need answers, because I believe that we can heal, and this is my destination. I know myself I cannot find many recovery examples, and so I deem to be that example myself. An immense challenge I know – but what alternative is there?
Im not even talking about being 100% – what (and who) is that anyway? I know YOU understand when I say that “I just want to feel well and have some energy to be myself.”
Light words but ones which chronic CFS sufferers will know the magnitude of.
I dream of waking up, getting up, getting washed and dressed, having breakfast and leaving the house for the morning/day.
A massive vision for us. A daily reality for most.
If you (like me) have done all the ‘work’ then perhaps there is a Virus at your root cause? If you have done the years of Lifestyle changes, the Rest, the Nutrition and treated the Insufficiencies. If you have sorted (or tried to sort) the Hormones, the Gut, Methylation issues, and the Toxins, and you are still in a major muddle then perhaps something is complicating the whole picture. A Virus may just be the major body burden (and trigger) which is dragging the body and Immune system down so much that nothing can properly heal and function beyond a certain point.
Crazy symptoms from taking Thyroid medication? Reactions from standard supplements? Detoxing which become a threat?…. Nothing making sense no matter how many millions of hours you swirl it round in your brain?
Feeling like you are going Crazy?
SOMETHING REAL IS GOING ON.
As you know, I was diagnosed with Parvo B19 Virus a few weeks ago (after 18 years of CFS) and for some reason my body is not able to make Antibodies to fight it. All the work I have done and continue to do cannot change this fact. I cannot make Antibodies and therefore I cannot fight this Virus. Fact.
I will need Antibody Therapy (if I can get it) to do this.
Part Relief – That I cannot blame myself further. That I can fully believe that I have done all I can to get well, and that my lack of (further) progress is not because I could have done more. That in fact all my efforts have probably stopped a major deterioration.
Part Apprehension – That I cannot fix this by myself. That this is out of my hands to an extent. That I still don’t understand why my immune system is not functioning? More questions. More research needed.
There are mixed emotions but I am holding tightly onto my friends Joy and Gratitude for the new possibilities and hope this diagnosis brings.
Next time I will be writing about how Parvo attacks the Endocrine System and how having Thyroid and Adrenal problems has massively complicated my own system/healing.
I would love to hear from you. Do you feel like there must be a hidden root cause for you too? Have you found it?
Love Carly xx
Find out more about my story with Parvo Virus here – Ive had the Flu for 19 Years!
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