Since I was a little girl I have always had a complete love affair with books. The paper. The Smell. The Typography. The promise of so much mystery and wisdom bound tightly together in one little package. Now I am putting into practice my dream of perhaps one day becoming an author and am devoting time towards starting to write a book.
Or I am playing at it anyway.
Because creativity and words are play at heart. Nothing too deep or taxing. An injection of passion combined with a super shiny vision is all you need to make a start. Right now.
And so I present you with my musings and encourage you begin your own story and book if you desire it…… I hope you feel comforted by my ramblings and realise that to write never ever has to be a collection of perfection 😉
…..2 years ago I did something completely out of my comfort zone and accompanied Mum and Little Sis on their annual day trip to a Spiritual Healing & Psychic Event. Now, If you know me, you know that this was pretty huge for 2 reasons. One being that actually making a plan and being able to stick to it is fairly rare, and the other is that ghosts and spirits kinda scare me! Albeit it in a fascinating (hands over eyes but I want to hear more) kind of way.
However, I also have this slight issue with not wanting to miss out, and they always came back so happy and chilled that I wanted to see what it was all about myself.
What was I thinking?
Back then I wasn’t so sure what I believed or where I stood on the other world phenomenon. Were spirits real and could they give us information? If so, how much did I even want to know?
To be honest I probably always was a believer and the fear came not from doubting but from opening myself up to something which could never be explained or controlled, and stepping into a place I wasn’t sure I wanted to be. I knew there were charlatans out there and I am a realist in many ways, but I also have an open mind and I genuinely believe anything is possible.
But I questioned how far I wanted to go down this path? I certainly didn’t want to be encouraging any white haired ladies to hover over me in the dark of night. I like a bit of peace as I sleep Thank You.
In truth I’ve often sensed things. Felt things. Ran from these unknown feelings. I knew, for instance, that our old house had a presence long before others confirmed it. A nice presence perhaps but still I felt uneasy with it. I am equally sure that our current house does not have a spirit energy and is still shiny new, and I love that! I can wake at night and feel completely relaxed.
I respect and believe without the desire to immerse.
And yet the reason I held back quite so much was genuinely out of fear. Doh.
Quite simply I am too intuitive, sensitive and perhaps even a little psychic myself and this hasn’t always sat comfortably. When you feel you really feel. When you pick up other people’s energy it is hard to protect your own. When you are sensitive to an environment you feel vulnerable. Infact the more I learn (and allow myself to be open to) the more complex it all is. Like a whole other language. And yet reading it and understanding it and appreciating it makes it all quite appealing and enlightening.
When you face it and live it, the fear changes into something more wondrous.
But don’t get me wrong, I’m no white witch with super powers (much kudos to her though.) I can’t predict or see things and I don’t want to, yet there have been occasions difficult to explain and random ‘lightworker’ comments thrown my way too many times to be a coincidence. Its a path I believe I could indulge in were the inclination there. But, as with most things, I feel that a balance is better for me. Through being respectful and appreciative, whilst treading slowly, I’ve let the fear reside and diminish. There is light and dark to everything in this world. Ying and Yang. You embrace what appeals.
I actually think there is nothing all that unique about being intuitive and sensing things. We can call this psychic if you like? But to me it is more about tuning in and releasing any blocks which make the flow of energy stagnant. As babies and young children I believe that we do this naturally and that it is only as we grow up within society’s framework and rules that we let this magical ability evaporate, And much like everything we give less time and attention too – it becomes weaker and weaker until it ceases to exist.
And so year after year Mom and Sis came home regaling tales of this beautiful day. And for some reason it always was the most glorious Spring weather too.
A truly blissful perfect Moment in time.
They talked of sweet and comforting messages which strangers had been given and a sense of peace seemed to float about them for a good few days. Amazingly they had none of the obsessed inclination I myself knew I would have had to look into it all too deeply. I admired how they both could enjoy the wonder on a level which didn’t search for answers and inevitably evoke anymore unanswerable questions.
To share a little more of our personality differences in these matters, I recall the occasion that Lil Sis and I watched a live Darren Browne show. Mind blowing was our ultimate conclusion. Yet whereas I didn’t sleep a wink, analysing every possibility and stiring myself up into knots, She slept like a baby. Oh to be able to switch off like that. She can teach me a thing or 2.
And so whilst I had the calling to join them, there was definite apprehensive and anxiety. A thrill of fear and a hesitancy of getting too caught up in it all mingled with the knowledge that the deeper I trod along my own healing path, I was organically and naturally becoming more and more spiritual anyway.
No turning back now.
And yet it still felt like a giant leap. And did I mention that I have a tendency to over analyse things?….. I was scared that I could be told something which would bother me.
Perhaps this was more about getting to know myself as much as anything else?
Just as soon as we arrived I made Sis come with me to book a reading instantly.
“It has to be right now” I told her.
“If I wait even an hour I will freak myself out.”
She just laughed and dragged me to the desk.
We didn’t care which medium we saw – just took a chance of a name.
Mine paid off.
Lil Sis’s did not.
I am actually laughing out loud at how inaccurate little Sis’s reading was. Beyond funny. Belly achingly, tears rolling down your face kinda funny……However, the absolute most hilarious thing ever was that she had spent the car journey up there telling us about how awful her reading (and the medium) was last year – only for her to have unintentionally picked the exact same lady to do her reading again! Oh my her face when she clocked on!
Tears are streaming 😉
Lets just say that 365 days had not improved her skills and I think I actually hiccuped when Little Sis relayed that she had suggested to her a passion for healthy eating and wellbeing.
“I think she has the wrong sister” Mum chuckled!
“If only she could see all your empty MacDonalds cartons in the car“ I shrieked.
The day was entertaining in many ways. Fun fun fun. And yes it also turned out to be very profound and spiritual and blessed. A sense of peace and calmness in the beauty and awe of the stunning building and gardens. The people, the presence and the intention was magnificent. Whatever your beliefs you cannot deny the powerful and vibration of good intention.
To immerse oneself amongst a radiant Aura leaves a glow which settles within every pore.
As I lay outside gazing up at the clear blue sky, taking a rest in the warm sunshine, a black cat look the liberty of introducing itself to me. It came from nowhere. It chose me amongst the many people milling about, and it kept me company whilst I was alone.
A magical black cat. Could it be any more cliche?!
Yet that moment right there was the epiphany of peacefulness. It did feel surreal and beyond worldy. I had a strange yet comforting sense of being exactly where I was meant to be and gratitude that I had found the courage to take the risk.
Every act and random occurrence that fine day felt guided by a greater power. In a place where my guard was let down and I was open enough to receive I felt humbled…… I settled back down with the mystical black cat purring at my side and plugged my headphones in to listen once again to the recording of the most incredible reading I just had.
I had just unbelievably got the sign and confirmation which I had always wanted and needed, and I fully believe that my Nan came through for me that day with a powerful message……
1 year later I am beyond shocked at the accuracy even more so than I was initially. Eyes wide open as I acknowledge just how insightful that reading has proved to be with the passing of time.
How my Nan may have even guided me into the next phase of my health research on Lyme Disease without me even realising it. And how she strongly hinted that my path and answers lay in Writing at a time where I had no thoughts or intentions of doing so, or even a consideration of Blogging…..
Check out Part 2 HERE, and my doubts on writing a book on healing whilst I am still sick HERE.
Have you started that book you dream of yet? Or that Blog? Or even journalling? Let me know if you desire it. I am just playing around but my greatest ambition would be to become an author one day. Let me know if you have the same dream?